Hooked by Criticism
Last week a fair amount of coaching calls, equally split between my male and female clients, centered around the feeling of criticism. Feeling criticized in one way or another by their boss, a co-worker, friend, loved one and even a complete stranger.
What was interesting was the forms of criticism that clients were most impacted by, what "hooked" them (meaning they chose to make the criticism everything to do with them) and those criticisms that they were able to just let go of and move on from.
An example of criticism that clients didn't seem to get hooked on was criticism that didn't match the beliefs they held about themselves. They could simply ignore the feedback or take in a part of it that they found could be useful, and move on. For some, it was criticism through hurtful words,
- "you are insensitive",
- "you aren't a good listener",
- "you are disorganized"
- "you don't love me enough"