Selfish, Who Me? You Bet I Am

          How selfish are you these days? Many of the coaching clients I work with are career women. Either CEOs of their home and family or within a workplace, whenever we talk work-life "balance" (and it's never balanced at 50/50 btw), I ask them how selfish are they with themselves. And then I see their eyes glaze over. Not understanding the question at first because suddenly I'm speaking in another language other than English. Why? Because that concept is either so foreign to them or suddenly a ton of thoughts to contradict this possibility comes flooding into the mind along with a whole bunch of feelings - guilt to even think of being selfish for one.

The Word "Selfish" - It's a Mindset Thing!

What's the thought that comes up for you to think of yourself as selfish? What's the feeling that follows? On the 0-10 selfish meter, zero being "I'm not at all selfish with myself" to 10 meaning, "I am 100% self-absorbed selfish", how would you rate your selfishness toward yourself? How would others rate you? This is a serious question to ask. The answers all have to do with your mindset. The story you have bought into about being selfish toward yourself and how you choose to view it. Chances are you aren't practicing the important ingredient needed to make so much happen for yourself. To practice self-love, self-compassion, self-care, self-empowerment, self-advocacy, calls upon you to be selfish toward yourself.  And chances are, although you probably do a bang-up job being selfless with everyone else, you aren't being selfish with yourself. Those around you may tend to agree!

The Most Needed Ingredient When Cooking Up Self-Care

In not practicing selfishness with yourself, how has this derailed your self-care? If you want to be a role model for your children, teaching them how to love themselves, if you want to set an example for your friends or strive to show support for your employees emotional and mental wellness as a business owner or leader, it's time for you to practice being more selfish toward yourself. Here are some examples:

  • Take your lunch hour.
  • Don't set your Sunday morning alarm.
  • Ask your partner to not talk to you for one hour after you come home - a self-imposed "time out" to unwind.
  • Buy yourself a 4 pack of mani/pedis and actually schedule them ahead of time.
  • 2 days a week leave the office at 5P. Just do it.
  • Buy yourself some flowers.
  • Ask for 1 thing you need from someone, today.
  • Take yourself to the matineé.
I would love to hear some of the ways you will practice being more selfish toward yourself today so please send them my way via email.

Being more selfish with yourself is easier said than done. I know! But it is a mindset thing. Let's talk it through and move you forward toward stepping into this routine of being selfish with YOU.   Step into 30-minutes of coaching with me, NO-COST, MY GIFT TO YOU, to experience what being coached is like and we can create an action plan on working through the thought keeping you unclear as to where to start. On the call we will:

    • Help you get started on tackling a challenge you are dealing with;
    • Discuss the benefits of entering into a coaching partnership, and
    • You will walk away with at least 1 coaching tool and strategy that you can immediately put into action!

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Decide ahead of time that you're going to have a great new day and week ahead.       Photo credit: Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash