Self-disclosure requires you to be vulnerable. And since I preach that to really make a change, you need to step into vulnerability, I am going to model what that looks like and why it’s so important.
I went to Costco today. I had my list in hand of my usuals. I went on a quick Costco run outside of my once a month visit because my usuals were on sale and I had a small window of time before my next coaching session. Making it into my cart?
- 2 cases of Water
- Kleenex with lotion (the best, no red nose)
- Cream Cheese (great for making cream cheese pancakes – if you want the recipe I’ll share)
- Organic chicken
- Organic Raspberries
- Starbucks French Roast Beans and, wait for it…….
- A Supersize bag of DORITOS.
The last time I ate any type of “chip’ or processed food item that comes out of a bag was years ago.
But I grabbed it. For some reason, I heard it’s voice calling my name (or was that the mind talking to me?).
I had that big huge red bag that everyone could see in my cart from a mile away.
I had the thought that by the time I get to the register, I would change my mind and put it aside.
That big huge red bag also found its way somehow in the front seat of my car while everything else was packed away comfortably in my trunk.
Somehow that big huge red bag became opened before I even got home. I had consumed multiple chips – and stopped counting by chip #10.
The mind went NUTS. So did my stomach.
And of course, I immediately started to judge my choice and behavior.
Let the Flood Gates Open
I took note of the flood of feeling rising up in me -I started feeling bad, disappointed, embarrassed and about 5 other feelings.
I started to unpack it all and run through a thought model.
I went back to the ACTION of grabbing that big huge red bag.
I went back to the FEELING that drove my action.
I went back to the THOUGHT I had that was connected to the feeling (remember you can’t have a feeling without first the thought)
I did the thought work to prepare for the next time I find myself in this type of circumstance. And remember we all get a do-over.
I asked myself, how can I do “the next time” better?
I realized that I didn’t practice self-care. I didn’t support myself in not being proactive knowing what my day ahead would be like. I didn’t plan for my fatigue after not only a 5 AM high-intensity workout class on an empty stomach but that I had inadvertently scheduled 2 back to back consultation calls directly after my class, and what I may feel like.
I didn’t practice self-care by setting my boundaries and not scheduling back to back clients after a workout in order to fuel myself (which also fuels the mind).
I didn’t listen to the intuition that was telling me something different. I avoided “knowing better”. I didn’t value myself to listen to my body to eat, hydrate and rest. I was mentally and emotionally fatigued, I was physically hungry. My body was speaking to me. I didn’t choose to listen. So, I was vulnerable. Vulnerable to temptation. Vulnerable to distraction and impulsivity. Vulnerable to the obstacle thoughts, which is this case was the mind saying “you know its bad, but you know it would taste good and you are hungry!” We all go through this type of vulnerability.
We are human. We strive and often then overdue and overwork as career women, as CEOs of our family, multiple daily life stressors. As a result, you have all grabbed that big huge red bag of Doritos – or that bag of chocolate, the bottle of wine, gone on a shopping binge, isolated ourselves. You fill in the blank for you.
Become Ready for Your Do-Over
But thank you big huge red bag of DORITOS. You were actually my gift because if I hadn’t grabbed you, and had some of those not so great feelings rise up, if I hadn’t had good coaching through the years to learn how to coach myself, I wouldn’t have had an opportunity for the ultimate result which is the clarity in what my non-negotiables are for me. I know I will get hungry, I know I will feel fatigued. I know that I tend to be impulsive and not follow my own rules. I know to be better proactively prepared. So the next time I run down that chip aisle, I can talk back and set my boundary with the mind.
I will be ready for my do-over when it hits.
The biggest end result? Because I had my coaching tools and took some time to do some self-coaching, I was freed up to make the choice to let go of my Self-judgement. That’s power. Lesson learned and moving forward from here.
Oh, and that big huge red bag of Doritos? It found its way on my neighbor’s doorstep with a note “looking for a better home!”.
Wait, Don’t Rush Away Yet
If you’d like some clarity on your “why” behind reaching for your bag of Doritos, or other behavior that leads you down the rabbit hole, schedule on a free call with me and experience what it’s like to get some coaching. It may be the best 30-minutes you have spent in a while!
On the call we will:
- Help you get started on tackling a challenge you are dealing with;
- Discuss the benefits of working together, and
- You will walk away with at least 1 coaching tool and strategy that you can immediately put into action!
Did you miss Ditch That Inner Mean Girl for the New Year? Replay
Photo credit by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash