Own your Self in 2016
Posted: January 14, 2016
Thank goodness New Year's Eve is finally here! This day has been like a monkey on my back since we had to "fall back" within our time zone. That seems to be the universal indicator that the holiday season is right around the corner and after the dilemma of "what should I buy grandma for Christmas" is solved the ritual of making New Year's resolution is next to tackle. Thanksgiving we work hard to acknowledge what we are thankful for. Words like "mindfulness" and "gratitude" are spotted more than usual in posts, blogs, conversations (they were used in all of my writings!). December comes and we put into overdrive a vision for the New Year.
With Christmas, Kwanza, Channuka and other holidays now over the New Year is on my mind and the minds of many. Somehow automatically I began taking inventory of what last year's goals or resolutions were (and if I can't remember what they were I probably didn't do a great job achieving them!). And if you are like me, you easily can come up with a multitude of "to do better" items. In the past, most of my resolutions aka "goals" seemed to stem from a negative place - what I didn't do, what didn't happen, what did happen because of what I didn't do...you get the picture. There tends to be a self-imposed pressure to "do better", to find at least 1 goal we (hopefully) will succeed in and pray we can cross off our list (once and for all).
With someone that is always talking about picking goals that are accomplishable I sure chose a doozy for myself but this year I realize this is the goal that is at the root of why I can easily fall victim to having a negative eye on what isn't going right, isn't happening the way I would like, why I at times create conflict with those I love, why I suffer from "comparisonitis" of others. And there is truth in "Thoughts Become Things (so think of the good ones)" to quote Mike Dooley.
This year I have 1 goal and it is to "own my Self", to fall "in like" with my Self. My total package. The good that goes along with the bad and the ugly. This year I am going to own who I am - the whole enchilada. Not just spout off what I think I need to "fix" about myself. This year's goal isn't about changing who I am. This year's goal is about owning all my traits, personality quirks, what about me I love and am in love with, what my hang-ups are, my fears and my intentions. This year I am going to fall "in like" with all the great things about me. To create an even longer list of those things I like about me than those things I would rather not have as part of me. Some days that may be hard to recognize, but this year I commit to making a good effort to acknowledge on those tough hard to see days, at least 1 good thing. After all most of us have a list of what we don't like about ourselves, what we need to work on, what flaws us. We are human afterall. But if we only stay reading that list and not creating and acknowledging our "in like" list, how are we going to recognize our wins or recognize the wins our children make, the small successes accomplished in our workplace, the wins taking place in our relationships with our partner or friends. Think back when you were in love with someone or are in love. Remember that feeling as though all was right in the world, with the world? No one could do any wrong. You felt as though you were on cloud nine? All warm and fuzzy, beaming from ear to ear. Time to bring that feeling back about YOU.
Join me. Grab a notebook, a pad of paper, an old gum wrapper, anything and jot down all the things that went right each day. Carry this notebook around with you. Open your eyes wider to the wins around you. Most of us go through our day without even stopping to notice our wins. Jot down a positive - it can be the smallest, simpliest thing. The trick is to not overthink it:
- I woke up without my alarm clock early today (a win).
- I got to the gym today (a win).
- I held the door open for someone (a win),
- I complimented my daughter today for making her bed (a win).
- I ate a small snack size of M&Ms and didn't polish off a Pounder bag (a win).
- I thanked my husband for having coffee ready for me (a win).