I talk a lot about feelings.
Feelings drive our action (or inaction) that leads to our results.
True confession time.
I used to eat a bag of Hershey’s Kisses (in one sitting). If you know me, you know I have always been a gym goer and “clean” healthy eater.
Except for those darn Hershey’s Kisses. Sometimes I would have a bag at night (several nights a week).
That behavior which comforted my feeling issue started to not serve me well in the long run. Then my inner critic would get a hold of me, whispering to me what a disappointment I was, or how I wasn’t strong enough to tough it out! Let’s not talk about the feelings of guilt and disappointment in myself that I had to work hard to shake off, I physically started to feel and see the effects of repeated consumption of all that (bad) sugar.
I’m sure this is sounding somewhat familiar to those of you reading this. It’s not uncommon to turn to some buffer to take away our pain -it may show up as shopping, drugs, drink, food, sex, overworking, overbooking ourselves, just to stay out of ourselves.
I chose to take action.
On several gazillion occasions over the course of several years.
To no avail.
I thought, “Let me wait until I feel (emotionally) better about myself” “Let me wait until I feel stronger to handle those feelings.”
That day didn’t come.
When I felt _________ (fill in the blank), my bag of Kisses was my buffer, my personal comfort zone that I would crawl into, feeling comforted for a nano second, but the negative feelings kept showing up.
This time I chose to take action from a different perspective. Yes, I chose to not eat those Kisses but the real choice, the hardest action and hill to climb, was to feel my feelings (I chose this photo today at it seems to depict how I feel (and probably look) when dealing with myself in the raw!).
As I was about to write this, I had a craving to go out and buy those Kisses. It was so strong I could taste it. I saw myself unwrapping each of those little tiny foiled Kisses. I could even imagine how my body would feel, like sinking into a plush, comfy down filled chair, instantly comforted.
I decided to dig deep and really ask myself what were the thoughts I was having to bring me face-to-face with those feelings?
When I decided to take the buffering behavior of turning to those Kisses away, I was left with my truth. And it didn’t feel too pleasant.
The best way to get out of pain is to find and change its cause. I did a thought download.
Taking each thought that seemed to be wrapped up in some type of challenge, I told myself, “That challenge isn’t the end of the world”. “That challenge is doable.” “That challenge isn’t any big deal”. “That challenge I CAN DO”.
Now when I look at the picture, I don’t see a lion roaring out of displeasure or angst.
I see a lion(ess) roaring from a place of power and pride, that even in discomfort, I can move through the feeling vibrations, let it ride and see that this too shall pass, and I’m still standing. And you know what? Just writing this, to hell with that bag of Hershey’s Kisses!
I’ve been “Kiss free” for 2 months now (well, you know what I mean).
What is your bag of Hershey’s Kisses. Are you using any buffer against difficult feelings? Write them down. Write a thought download. You will come out the other side like a lioness.
I’m here to support you!
My Chapter 2 group starts September 7, 6:00-7:30 PM (PT).
It’s a 10-week coaching group with 8 other women contending with all of these issues. We all need a safe, supportive place, outside of our family and friend circle to let go of pretenses and learn tools and techniques to bust through our critical thinking. The group is online so no need to travel anywhere but to your closest computer or phone. You can find out more information and reserve your spot here:
Now go out and make it a great day!