8 Steps To Rid Yourself of Self-Sabotage

By Joanne Royer

Beliefs change clarity Confidence fear of failure feelings inner critic Mindfulness possibilitiees Self Awareness self-doubt Thoughts

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Posted: September 3, 2017

The Quiet Influence of Self-Sabotage Thinking

How you choose to think about yourself or a situation is powerful. Why? Because it can take power back from your inner critic who attempts to convince you of why you should keep thinking the way you always have been about yourself, even though that choice in thinking hasn't served you well. Why? Because it is a familiar thought. You know how to "do" that way of thinking. Thinking that way takes little effort on your part.

The Payoff of Self-Sabotage

Ask yourself, How is your inner critic sabotaging you? What are you getting out of choosing to stay in your familiar, self-sabotaging, thinking?" You are getting something.....does it help you stay out of change? Does it help you stay out of a feeling you don't particularly want to feel? What tends to be your end result from sabotaging yourself? Are you staying stagnant? Spinning in circles, never quite getting to the result you ultimately want? Staying in an unproductive thought pattern proves your mind right about yourself. And we all want to be right? Right?But what would it be if you were wrong about yourself? Wouldn't that be a good thing? Whatever form it takes – whether unhealthy behaviors or limiting thought patterns – self-sabotage always diminishes the passion and energy you need to fulfill your goals. Are you ready to end the internal war with yourself so that you can step fully into the greatest expression of yourself?

8-Steps To Rid Yourself of Self-Sabotage

Step 1. Make a list of the areas in your life. For example:

Work
Finances
Friendships
Marriage/partnership
Children
Work/Career
Self-Care
Work-life balance, etc...

Step 2. Find 1 area that you feel particularly stuck/stagnant in. Step 3. Ask yourself how your inner critic has been speaking to you about it. Step 4. Write all those thoughts down. Step 5. Here's where the work comes in. Flip each thought you've written on your list, writing each "flipped" thought down. For example: Sabotaging thought: I'll never make enough money to pay down my credit card. Flip it to: I will have enough money to take care of my credit card bill. Step 6. Make note of your immediate feeling when you say the new thought aloud. Step 7. Practice saying your new thought(s) to yourself, aloud each day. Step 8. Practice patience and self-compassion. This exercise may feel strange at first. Remember, you're familiar with your sabotaging thinking and you may think of your new thought as silly - it doesn't seem natural (at first) to think in this new way. Every time you practice saying out loud your flipped thought, continue to pay attention to how each thought makes you feel as you will most likely notice your feelings shift to the more affirmative. In time you may actually catch yourself thinking your flipped thought without needing your list to prompt you. Then you are on your way to breaking those old thought habits! You are creating your new "normal" way of thinking. And that's a good thing.